Jasmine Hart

Hey Matt, This is really interesting. I love "down and up" and I think "forever£ works really well. I'd move "middle" on to the second line and give; "I know ...

Haha! This was very clever. It made me smile. It's an unconventional haiku but I think it works really well. I think it works perfectly as it is. Thanks for ...

Hi, This is a lovely piece. It flows really nicely, the rhyme is very effective and you have some lovely imagery like; "Where we made edelweiss vines" and "And you ...

Hey Kit, I really enjoyed this. You handle the form beautifully. I think that the second half of the poem is stronger; the imagery is better and the character of ...

Hi, I think you've chosen a really good style for this and that it progresses nicely from beginning to end. It effectively lays out the situation and I think that ...

Hi, Welcome to YWS! You handle the form really nicely. I'd change "A" to "For" because I think that makes more sense. I think I'd also change "theirs" to "his". ...

Hi Rosey, Your imagery is beautiful and this flows really nicely. The form works really well with the piece. I love; "time-worn comfort like a mother's womb, the place hidden ...

Hi, I really love the first one. The image is very strong and "Sweet syrup, dry leaves" is a brilliant line. I'd change "peaceful" to something more concrete and descriptive ...

Hi, I really love your use of rhyme here. It's very effective. I think that the first stanza is a bit vague and instead I'd focus on imagery, how the ...

Hey Matt, This flows nicely and I really love the repetition of the "o" sound in "smoke and soak". I think that; [deleted] is a bit weak and sounds a ...

Hi, Welcome to YWS! I hope you like it here. I really enjoyed this, it was very clever and funny. I really loved; "the softly flowing flesh around his middle ...

Hi, Welcome to YWS! I hope you like it here. I love the rhyme in this piece, it's very effective. I love; "And you can't break the chapters". This is ...

Hi, Welcome to YWS! I hope you like it here. This flows really easily and your imagery is very vivid and effective. The first line is powerful and really drew ...

Hi, This flows beautifully. I think that the first three lines are a bit abstract so I'd try a more specific image, like the lovely images of the mother and ...

Hi, Welcome to YWS! I hope you like it here. I really enjoyed how this progressed from beginning to end, and your imagery is very effective. I'd change the first ...